oh sugar, is that the time?

While I write these words, I should definitely be writing my personal statement for a little thing that I like to call my future. These words, these words you're right now reading, yup these very ones, should really not be existing. These words are very illegal words right now for every word that forms in my mind, every sentence that is being created should most definitely be towards not this, right here, but another piece of writing.

I think what I'm trying to do is find inspiration because at the moment, when I try to write 4000 characters about myself and why I am the appropriate choice for your university, I'm using the backspace and the delete keys more than a person really should. Inspiration, what a horrible thing you are; so elusive and fleeting.

For the last couple of weeks I have been freaking out and breaking down and studying and writing. I feel that these four things are not actions I will be taking a break from for a very long time and for some reason, that doesn't terrify me as much I thought it would. There's something thrilling and so wholly satisfying about completing something you've spent hours crying about. (That sounds a lot more weird typed out than it did my head.) I didn't really know where I was heading with this post but I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm determined to succeed, or determined to keep moving forward, even if it means late nights wondering why some words come so easily and others just seem to evade me altogether.

I'm not sure if I've found my inspiration yet but I feel like I've found my motivation, and these words are still very illegal so... I'll catch you later.

All my love, Sadia x